Its been a really long while since I wrote something …err, from my heart. So, somethings happened with me which were meant to happen, or rather which I knew were going to happen with me eventually.
Its strange though… sometimes I feel as if I know that those things will happen no matter what and I want to give up on it when the time is right. Well, the problem is, I am a guy who never gives up till the very end (unless of course, its studies ! :P) and when I know that what I am going to do is only going to benefit a lot of people and I have no other option, that is when I let go.
The thing with me is, well, hard to admit, but sadly true, I cannot be attached emotionally to anyone for long unless the other person feels the same way about me! I know it sounds crazy but, that is how I really am! One of my favourite quotations which I remind myself of is “I am like a mirror; I only show what I see and only give as much back as much as you give me! Throw a stone at me, and you’ll lose me forever!” Crazy lines! But true in meaning. (Well, I just made that up a few minutes ago to match my personality! LOL! XD)
These lines go very well with the opposite gender for me. I don’t know why… but I cannot maintain a relationship, as in friendship, (never been in a REAL LOVE relationship before!) for too long. As time progresses, the distance between the two of us reduces to such a small length that we barely communicate with each other and I get the feeling that I have lost the place I used to hold in that person’s mind and so, I slowly back out and finally, we end up having no sort of communication at all!
This thing has happened with me a lot of times and it will happen a lot of times in the future as well since I know I cannot change that aspect of mine and I won’t be able to be friends with the opposite gender for long till I find my better-half!
Funnily, it so happens that once I get over that person, neither of us seem to care about each other later on! o.O but, memories still remain and I learn from them. I used to think that every girl I meet… out of them, someone, maybe someone might be that person who might change this course of mine.. and in the process, I only end up having another one of those experiences.
Recently, it has started happening again with another person in my life and even though I knew I was going to be in that situation, I still went ahead to see how far I could go but again, it’s coming to a drastic end! I am not complaining though. It’s a normal day-to-day life for me. I keep reminding myself… all relationships I encounter in life are just passing clouds for me… I learn something from them and the other person learns something from me and we move on in life.
The only thing I am scared of is… getting close to another girl! The closer I get, the worse it gets at the end! This looks more like a complaint letter than a post now! LOL! XD
But, oh well, this is life for me, and I need to keep moving ahead in life no matter what 🙂
This pic was shown to me by one of my close friends and since then, this has become my life in reality!